I will always love you

Bootsie, I'm watching the BET Honors special. It is a show where people honor other people by singing to them, often by singing their own songs. I remember when we used to sing to each other, with each other. I didn't realize it at the time, but I guess it was a way of honoring each other, the joy we felt being together, the feelings we felt about having been apart and then being back together. Sometimes, I sing to you now. Can you hear me?

Just now, Jennifer Hudson sang to Whitney Houston. Jennifer Hudson was in "Dreamgirls". Remember when we watched part of that at the hotel on your birthday, waiting for the guests to arrive for your birthday slumber party? You always did like musicals. I can't think of how to make you know Whitney, but I'm pretty sure you knew her songs. She sang, "I will always love you." And I thought of you.

(Earlier today, I submitted a policy fellowship application. I completed the application in honor of you, and I pray that I am selected, so I can tell more people about you, and create big changes for the children who are still here. As I was writing my essays, as I was uploading my application, as I clicked the button to submit, I thought of you.)

I was going to post the lyrics here, but the verses are actually quite sad, and a part of me weeps at the thought that that is how you may have felt at times. I assure you, you were not in my way; loving you was my way. Some of the memories are bittersweet indeed, but I search my mind for the happy memories, especially from when you were young, and I hope that you were able to think on them, too. You were what I needed, what I fought all those years for, but I know that you'd been made to feel unneeded while you were away, and I am so very sorry. (I included the word "unneeded" in one of my essays about my calling, which was handed to me by you. You were the first and only person I have ever heard use that word about a person, let alone about themselves.) I can't have all I've dreamed of now, because you're gone. So, I won't post the lyrics to the verses.

But here's the part I want you to know: And I will always love you.
I will always love you.
I will always love you.
I will always love you.
I will always love you.
I, I will always love you.
You, darling, I love you.
Ooh, I'll always, I'll always love you.