In the past, I actually began my introduction on the first day of class with the phrase welcome to my world. I explained to my Introduction to Special Education students that the field composed a large part of my professional life, but also my personal life. I would tell the students that one of my goddaughters and a few family friends have cerebral palsy, and that a number of my friends and family have other special needs. Then I would tell them about my son, Sekai, a child for whom excerpts of his life story could be used as anecdotes in teaching all but 3 of the 18 chapters in our textbook. When I last taught this class, in the spring of 2009, my students learned a great deal about special education through my eyes as Sekai's mother, and through what he would tell me to tell them. The quote on the header for this blog is what he told me to tell them when he could not come to do his guest lecture after all because he was in the hospital. This fall, I will be teaching this course for the first time since his passing. Now there is one more chapter, "Transition and Adulthood", that I will not be illustrating through a story from Sekai's life. OK, yes, it is true that he had a transition plan in his IEP, but the truth is that he had a transition plan of his own, and will never make it to adulthood. I am grateful to have a guest lecturer for that content this semester. To say that I take this subject matter seriously is an understatement, but I am sure that by now you get my point. Now, let me leave you with a few more points.
First, please keep in mind that Sekai was first and foremost a child, just like the children that you will provide with education, special education or related services, medical care, child welfare services, or any other care for that matter, are children first and foremost. Being young human beings is not the same as being miniature adults, and there is little if any true power in their position. The challenges that many of these children face due to situational vulnerabilities are challenges that have been created by others and put on them, not challenges that they have created to put on you. Disability, especially when viewed through the lens of social construction, can also be considered situational, but this is not to grant you or anyone the license to assign blame or prescribe guilt to parents whose children have disabilities. If at any point you find yourself blaming a child for the challenging behavior that the child is presenting at the moment, please be cognizant and attuned enough to recognize that not only does that child need help (e.g., with expressing feelings, needs, or concerns; coping with intense feelings, needs, or concerns), but you may also need help in order to gain or regain the appropriate perspective. If at any point you find yourself blaming a child's parents, please reread the sentence above, replacing the word child with the word parent, and keep in mind that though parents are (often) adults, we may also need help. I would also like to add something that invokes glass houses or miles and shoes, but I think you get my point so I will leave that alone for now.
Secondly, please keep in mind that Sekai was also a spirit, as are the children whom you will one day serve. This is not the same as saying that he had spirit--and oh he did, let me tell you!--but rather I say this to make the point that some of his wisdom was beyond his years, and therefore difficult for some to comprehend. Are you familiar with the term old soul? It is a cultural reference, often used in the southeastern region of the U.S., and amongst persons of the African Diaspora. The term is used to describe a person, usually a child, who seems to have wisdom beyond that which could typically be obtained by a person who has been on Earth for however many years that child has been alive. Without delving into theology, let me simply quote Pierre Teilhard de Chardin to more fully illuminate this second point: "We are not human beings having a spiritual experience; we are spiritual beings having a human experience." To play with the semantics a bit, Sekai also had a spirit--which is still not the same as saying he had spirit, which he did, abundantly--as do the children that you will teach, a spirit that can be broken if mishandled. Please be mindful, then, that what you say and do to and about the children that are put in your care has the potential to either build them up in positive ways, or break their spirits in ways that you may not even realize. These ways may seem beyond your scope of concern if that child, like Sekai did, looks back at how you continued to live your seemingly happy-go-lucky life while he ruminated in whatever hurtful space was created by a negative word or misplaced term, the lack of concern only serving to reify and reaffirm the negative feelings. Please be mindful that certain words and actions are to the spirit what sticks and stones are to the body.
Lastly, please recall that Sekai had great spirit! Read the light points of the birthday memories post, or about his appreciation for chicken nuggets and reality tv for a glimpse of just how fun and funny he could be, this dear boy whose name means full of laughter. The children whose lives you will touch also have great spirit! I punctuated that sentence with an exclamation point because I want you to be excited about the possibilities! Each one of these young people who are presented to you for your support, assistance, encouragement, or who otherwise present you with an opportunity to fulfill your mission here and to contribute to the beauty of life on Earth has a personality, likes, dislikes, talents, gifts, hopes, and dreams. Each one of the children who are put in your path has the ability to introduce you to reasons to smile, and yes, perhaps reason to cry, but trust me when I say that no matter how physically, cognitively, or emotionally involved that child appears to be, no matter how distant or unconcerned that adolescent appears to be, that child, like Sekai, wants you to smile when you think of them, and when you interact with them. Each one, like Sekai, wants to know that you will remember them.
Have a wonderful semester. Be a wonderful student. Prepare to be a wonderful professional.
Feel free to post comments; in fact, please do post comments.
And remember Sekai.
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