Over it?

“I am tired, and I want to go to heaven,” he said.

“I am not ready for you to leave,” she begged. “I just got you back. We just got you back.”

“I am tired, and I want to go to heaven,” he said.

“Please, tell me. How does the story end?” she asked him.

“The people who loved him and worked so hard for him have to get over it and move on...the little boy is not there. He goes to heaven,” he replied.

And to heaven he went. And the people who loved him did not get over it, but they did move on: on in to the fields, on up the mountains, on into the valleys, carrying his story with them wherever they went.

That is how I concluded the obituary that was included in Sekai's memorial DVD. I added that last part, perhaps in hope that it would be true. After visiting the cemetery today and seeing that the marker that contains his "family name" has been removed, I suddenly felt the need to reach out for help to...whom? I suddenly--painfully--recalled the many professionals who had been involved in his case who said things like "I will make sure there is justice for Sekai", only to never be heard from again. I suddenly--painfully--remembered the conversation excerpted above. Remembering how Sekai had an uncanny way of knowing, seeing, telling things, I suddenly--painfully--wondered if he was right about this, too, and whether they are all over it, over him.

Open letter to Bravo (and NBC Universal Cable Entertainment)

If Kim Zolciak questioned, "Do I look like a ___ (insert any slur other than the r-word)?" on the White Hot episode, would it not have been bleeped? Individuals who are perceived as having or do have intellectual disabilities, learning disabilities, or other disabilities are not less-than-human beings for others to mock in order to feel better about themselves. Making fun of others in order to feel better about oneself is bullying. If we are concerned about vulnerable teens who are bullied, and if we want to decrease the numbers of young people who feel that their only choice is a desperate choice, then we must commit to changing the way that we speak to and about each other. Are not youth with disabilities who take(give) their own lives after being mocked and bullied equally as concerning as suicides among other vulnerable teens? Please, stop the r-word!

Spread the word to end the word
http://www.r-word.org/

Bullying among children and youth with disabilities http://www.stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov/HHS_PSA/pdfs/SBN_Tip_24.pdf

Bullying among children and youth with Disabilities and Special Needs http://www.education.com/reference/article/Ref_Bullying_Among/

Depression: The hidden problem among students with exceptionalities http://www.cec.sped.org/AM/Template.cfm?Section=Home&CONTENTID=1595&TEMPLATE=/CM/ContentDisplay.cfm

17

If his adolescent development continued in the same way, I imagine that his mustache would have fully come in by now. If the eating issues resolved, I imagine that he would probably be more bulky than sinewy given how plump he was as a baby, and given the physical exercises that we had begun. If we identified a doctor that could successfully address the issues with his right leg, I imagine that he would clearly stand taller than me by now.

If he were alive, Sekai would be 17 years old today.

I can only imagine how he would look. I have a hard time imagining who he would be as a person, because by the time of his passing, he was a much different person from who he was before the reality of his experiences, trauma response, and depression took over his very being. But since this is me imagining...I would like to imagine that his sarcastic nature and sassy wit would have increased and been more widely recognized as his ability to display his intelligence would have increased and been more widely recognized once his educational opportunities improved; that his charisma and interpersonal skills would have grown exponentially once his pain had been addressed; that his compassion and humor would have begun to shine once he felt that these qualities of his--that all of his qualities, and indeed his very existence--were appreciated by others.

I can only imagine how beautiful his face would be with the light of 17 candles shining upon it. Happy birthday, Sekai! Happy birthday, my darling, darling boy.

"A life in the community for everyone"

That is SAMHSA's vision, and the tagline is oft repeated on their site and on their deliverables. "A life in the community for everyone." Sekai wanted a life in the community. He wanted a life at home with his family. The SAMHSA vision is specifically about individuals who have or who are at risk for mental health or substance abuse disorders, but the thought could appropriately be applied to children with other disabilities and children in foster care. Tomorrow, SAMHSA is holding an Open House to publicly discuss their Strategic Initiatives. Happy birthday, my darling boy.