"In another time"

"I'm a soldier of love. Every day and night. I'm a soldier of love. All the days of my life. I've been torn up inside. Oh, I've been left behind. Oh, so I ride. I have the will to survive. In the Wild Wild West, trying my hardest, doing my best, to stay alive. I am love's soldier."

I saw Sade in concert last night, and they opened with the song "Soldier of Love". I don't know that I ever really processed the lyrics, or maybe I just didn't process how much they really apply to me. "I've been torn up inside. I've been left behind..." Of course, Sekai was also torn up inside, and I know that he felt left behind, too. Sigh. "I'm a soldier of love...I am love's soldier." And God is love. That's what came to me this morning when I was playing the song over and over. "I am love's soldier." And God is love.

As I was watching the incredible show put on by Sade (the band), I found myself marveling at Sade (the woman) and remembering the stories shared when she first became popular in the U.S., stories about her grandmother having to adjust to the idea of what her daughter had done, whom she had married, and her granddaughter's identity/embodiment. (Remember the song "Tar Baby"?) I just kept thinking, wow, and look at you now! If only they had known what you would become, what you could become...

Shortly after that thought, I was brought to rapt attention when I heard Sade say [paraphrase] I know some of you have been feeling down. This song is for you, for those who have been bullied, and made to feel bad.

"You've been down... Their whispers are hailstones in your face. You're so tired of waiting for something to change. They don't know what to do with something so good... One of these days they're gonna fall into their brew and they'll know exactly what they did to you. Darling, I just want you to know your tears won't leave a trace. In another time...in another time...in another place."

When I first heard this song, I thought the part about tears not leaving a trace meant that the person's tears wouldn't be seen or wouldn't be remembered, and so I didn't want to like this song, and kind of stopped listening to it (stopped really listening to it, processing it). But after hearing her introduce the song, and after really listening to it, processing it, now I think it means that the darling isn't crying anymore. And so I also played this song over and over this morning, and sang it over and over in my head all day.

Darling, your tears leave a trace on me, but I am so glad that they don't leave a trace on you anymore. Remembering you today, two years after laying you down to rest in peace.

[I missed the window by one minute. This post was to be dated June 23, 2011. Two years to the date...]